It's a Strange Thought

Only in the past couple months before her death, did I really start to realize my mom wasn't long for the world. Sometimes I feel bad for not spending more time with her then, I was home, I could have kept her company and talked about food and been the daughter she probably once dreamed of..
But then I think, wouldn't that have made her a bigger part of my life and left a bigger hole in my life. It's probably the wrong way to think, I usually look at things in an unacceptable way, but it makes sense to me.