Hallelujah! (spell?) I figured it out!

How to finish my lit review that is. I keep trying to write one cohesive article. But what I need to do is write each individual lit review and THEN put it together cohesively. That will be much easier and quicker. It's hard because I am supposed to be thinking about my research (which while sort of easy, the logistics of doing research with a room full of kids, makes it really hard), but I keep getting hung up on this lit review that everyone else did last semester.

But I got this. I don't have the money to pay off my tuition, anyway, so I probably won't graduate until May, after income tax refunds. 

I've Lost 20 Pounds Since March!

In March, I went to the doctor and discovered my cholesterol was high. This wasn't so surprising. But since my mom had heart issues and my brother had a heart attack in his early 40s, it was concerning to me. I knew to cut out butter, but what I hadn't though about was cheese. When my doctor brought it up, I was like, Oh, that's easy!

So I went home and stopped adding butter and cheese. If something was made with butter and cheese, that was fine, but I stopped adding extra. I had been on the "real foods" diet which was pretty much eat whatever you want, especially fats and meats. Then I switched back to lowfat milk. Since the boys are so little, we keep whole milk for their brain development, but I really don't need it. I kept eating meat (how do you deal with males without making meat?), but just cut smaller pieces. A few weeks later, I cut out snacking after dinner. THIS WAS HARD! for two or three days anyway. I just kept reminding myself it would all be there in the morning, if I still wanted it. After a couple days, though, I stopped getting hungry and having cravings at night.

For some reason, I also stopped wanting to snack all the time. I just didn't want to. I felt like I could wait until a meal, and if my blood sugar felt really low, I just had a piece of fruit. I love love love fruit.

So I was down 10 pounds by summer. Then in late August, I came down with Giardia, poof! four pounds in two weeks, due to loss of appetite and food not sticking around long. But sadly, that way to lose weight was too inconvenient, ;o), so I got antibiotics. But, even after my appetite returned I lost another five pounds. Then stopped. Now, I discovered I am down two more pounds. Okay, okay, it's in my pajamas and barefoot, but that's how how I weigh myself.

Now, the plan is...I don't know. Karl and I have been talking about nightly walks, but it's hard to find the time. Maybe just keeping up what I am doing. Maybe calisthenics. We'll see.

Oh and I forgot the very best part. Saturday and and Tuesday (although this may change) I give myself permission to eat whatever and however much I want. That's fun!

Now to keep it up!

It just struck me

This title is silly since I am working fulltime. But I guess I still type blogs from home.

Gosh, I am having such anxiety about my paper! But Gabe is usually up before six, and Liam is up until at least 8, and when am I supposed to work on the darned thing? I don't want to have journal articles spread all over the place with kids. I have to figure something out.

I guess maybe from 8 until 9 I can work on it.

So I just purchased this just now:

After shipping and my $4 ebay credit it was less than $10. I hope it gets here soon!

What to do today. No money to do anything, so I guess, I will try and get the laundry caught up and hunt for dishes through the house, because we are running low on plates and forks. 

On Rainy October Saturday Morns

Isn't it nice to find a simple new recipe?

I am trying this no knead bread recipe I found.

Unfortunately, we are completely out of salt, so I am hoping the rising isn't affected..I will continue this post as it rises.

And the result:

I cooked mine in a round cake pan withOUT the salt and rosemary. The boys enjoyed their hunk with a bit of butter and honey, and I had mine warm and plain. I loved it. The taste was somewhere between a biscuit and bread, but not having the mess of kneading make it SO worth it. MMmmm.

It's already October 6th!

And yesterday, suddenly, the weather was accommodating. It was rainy, cool, and a perfect day to spend in bed with electronics. And I did spend most of the day in bed with electronics.
Last night, Karl, Tierney, Caleb, Jake, and I played a cards games (BS and five card draw), while eating caramel apples and fried green tomatoes from the tomatoes Karl's parents had picked. Sadly, Taryn wouldn't play. She seemed a bit sulky yesterday. She was supposed to go to band competitions all day, but her band leader canceled it after was pushed waaaayyy back because of rain. But she didn't really seem to want to do that, so I don't know what is up with the sulkiness. I know she isn't going to tell me!:o)

Snapshots on life.

I have no idea where this was taken.

Michaelmas. I have given up on matching dishes with my kids.

The dragon

Liam slays the dragon

Karl

Taryn's hat

Karl's gloves

Liam's hat

Caleb's birthday (jake and boys)

Madison

Patchen

Gabe was so happy to find this in arm's length.

Taryn prepares for homecoming.

Pretty Taryn

Liam spent about 45 minutes being a (loud!) tornado siren

I needs to get me a life.

This is not who I am

But overall, it's a heck of a lot easier.
My job is fairly easy. This is mostly due to the natural compliance of most elementary school students, and having a very intelligent, hard-working, dedicated para. I am lucky. As a special ed teacher, I don't expect spectacular behavior, just the willingness to get back on track when redirected for the 25th time that day (or hour). After all, I am expected to teach "the Common Core", too, even though I am part of the marginalized "special" teachers at this school.


It's so much easier to just wave bye-bye at 6:30 a.m. and skip off to my job (or rather carpool the long hour to get to the small town with suspect water). It's easier to let someone else deal with the nitty gritty of raising two little boys-the dirt, the mess, the screaming, the shrieking noises, the meals, the carseats). It's easier to not have to deal with the mess of the house until five or so.

But my purpose in life has been left in the dust... Sometimes I hear it calling, but I when I search around only the noise of daily life is there.


Guess I am just your every day average American, living on credit (we still need student loans to pay childcare costs) and and self-soothing with television.

I don't even know how I feel about that. Numbness ain't that bad, folks:o)!


Actually, I had sooooo much more to say, but edited it, because frankly, feelings are fleeting and what pulls today, abandons tomorrow.

Happy Saturday! Now that I realized I actually don't have money for craft fairs and shopping, I am not quite sure what to do today.. Park? I should work on my master's crap. Yeah, I don't think so either. That's what the last minute is FOR, right?;o).

Cider Days

So yeah, there is a good side to working fulltime...getting the (small, oh so very very small) paycheck.

The girls and little boys and I went to Cider Days, which was...okay, and then we tried Cecil's, a little drive up thing in a parking lot on Glenstone...Then we went shopping for Taryn's homecoming dress, but I had to sit out in the car with Liam:o(.

Tierney waits for her food at Cecil's..It was good!

Gabe just needs to make a quick business call before lunch.

The Raven

Liam has a little cider at Cider Days

Girls...

Gabe really liked the skirts!

Taryn picked out a new headband.

Not only did I not get to help her pick it out, but I have PT conferences the night she is going:o(.

Dear facebook friends

I just wanted to say sorry for all the flipflopping, emotional, neurotic crap I write here. I know it's frustrating. I keep forgetting that constant rehashing won't lead me to t h e right answer. But, what can. I do but go from here and try harder?

Have a great start to September.  Autumn is coming!

See what I learned today!

I almost ordered pom-poms online for my classroom (or my half of the room. Ahem!!!), but decided to try YouTube first. It didn't look too bad, and I got a nice start on mine!

Really, check out YouTube Video if you need to do this. Super Easy!

Just thought I'd say...

I love the summer sounds of evening bugs.

Lemonade!

I finally made the drive out to my classroom today. The principal seemed nervous as she walked through the whole school and finally stopped at my classroom (at the very tip of the school! but not too far from a bathroom, so that's good!). She turned and then mentioned I'd be sharing it half days with the title one/special teacher.  I considered this, happy that my worries the job wouldn't be filled were unwarranted, but very unhappy at sharing with another teacher, after I had been told I'd be sharing with a para.

He had already been there, claimed the bigger desk, and I felt a bit displaced. The room is a cluttered mess. There is a big pile of boxes that need broke down and carried out, and what could be an okay room aesthetically is a mess. I didn't know where to start. How were we to break the room up. I moved one thing right to the middle of the white board, to start, but then I thought the other way might be better. I might lose the big whiteboard, but I would have access to the computers, which is necessary. Why block them off and have to interrupt whenever we need it. So, Tierney and I plan to go back tomorrow and move some more. Hopefully he isn't here, or gets there after we get started, so I don't have to consider his input. I want a window, I want computers for my students.

I'll deal with it. I haven't met him yet, but hopefully we get on okay, and he talks  just the right amount and not too much. I hope he's gone in the afternoons, but I don't know his schedule.

The drive is a killer. An hour wouldn't be so bad if it were interstate all the way, but it's winding two lane roads which require me to slow down rapidly around certain curves. It's scary because I AM the sort of person who spaces out while driving.

I was about to just resign, but then I was reminded of the reasons I chose to work, and they haven't changed. I don't like needing "help". If everyone chose to get help, what sort of position would our country be in? I can't stand not being able to support myself and my children if Karl died or just really screwed up. I want to travel and enjoy the nicer things.

So. The adventure begins. My heart is so torn, but it's the bigger choice, the choice which promises growth, and the better one.

Now to sit back and live with the consequences. 

Pillows!

I know, I know...a post about throw pillows.

But anyway...I mentioned I wanted some throw pillows for the couch to Karl's mom. Bless her heart, she bought me a couple yard sale throw pillows. The problem is the 80s/90s country design colored all cranberry and hunter just wasn't working for me, SO...

I bought this fabric today, 

and Tierney is going to sew covers for the pillows for me. So I can tell Kar's mom they got put to good use AND save a bundle. On Etsy, covers go for about 16 each, I got enough for two or three pillows and thread for $17.

And just some fun morning snapshots...

Already?

I finally got slipcovers for the sofa and loveseat. And I love them! I loved their lightness and the easy, relaxed feel of them. However, I put them on last night, and when I woke up there was a pizza smudge on the top of the loveseat. I got some oxyclean and started cleaning and that started pulling dirt up from the loveseat below!

Then Liam picked his mosquito bite scab and bled on it. Can I cry now?
:o).

Liam was a bit camera-shy today!

Yesterday

On a whim, from a teacher's buy, sell, and trade board on Facebook, I purchased a small climber with slide. It was $75 dollars, and I was cursing my impulsivity until my dad and I brought it home and we set it up.
Liam was so excited, even though it was supposed to be for Gabe's birthday. Gabe likes it, too, but he can't do much on it yet.

Liam asked, "Do we have a park now?! We have a swing, and a slide, and a sandbox!"

So it was worth it.

And last night, Liam sat through the whole first chapter of Little House in the Big Woods (23 pages!), and was able to answer questions about it afterwards. And wanted me to keep reading!

Life is good!

Not much to say

I haven't been writing much. I struggle with balancing complete honesty with looking at the bright side, and I haven't felt much like dragging other people into it. I can't figure anyway around slightly twisting the truth in my own mind, in order to be happy. And I hate that.

But I am not unhappy. Blah..Enough about feelings.

I am in the process of trying to organize my house.  I finally cleared the back corner of the kitchen (again!). Right now it has a table with the sewing machine, small wire shelves with Tierney's fabric odds and ends, and a small wire bakers rack (sort of) with other sewing and some scrapbook supplies. I think I have scrapbook supplies in the basement or something, but I am not looking for them.
I should have more prints made and scrapbook more, but with places like Shutterfly, it's almost not necessary, anymore. I would like to make it a full time crafting area. I plan to bring the small plastic shelves with knitting supplies and  yarn in there tomorrow (today).

I had originally planned to have a little coffee nook there, but it was too far from the water source and just too inconvenient. Then I thought I would make it my own noncomputer writing desk, but it got all cluttered, and now I am just going to designate the whole area for creativity. The hard part is keeping the clean laundry from piling up there. It's not fancy, but I will publish a picture when I can (Karl has the camera in Germany AND one of the kids had taken my camera charger. We had two and both are missing. I guess I should scout their electronics and see whose matches the camera.

I have been really bad about keeping the counter and table cleaned off. While the counter just looks bad, when the table is covered with clothing and various items it completely affects our lives. We stop eating meals together, but instead each person huddles up with their plate and their entertainment. That is not best practices for happy family living!

It's just hard to find a place for everything. It is hard to get rid of things which might be of use at some point. But, really, it's mostly a matter of just doing it, little by little. And keeping up with it. And I can do it, if I could just quiet the little voice in my head telling me to relax, it'll still be there later.


Love,

Jill

Changes in store

Karl is starting a new schedule in September. He'll be working from 5:45 a.m. until 4:45 p.m. with Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday off. Now I wish I wasn't going to be working. Being at home with kids is a lot better when the working spouse is on a day shift. I learned this in my first marriage.

But anyway, we'll deal with it.

The 4th

Liam is beside himself. He is already dressed at 8:00, despite shunning clothing most days. He is certain that it isn't too early to go get fireworks, and he really wants to wake Tierney. He is talking nonstop. It will be a long day.

Don't let the picture fool you. He is wound up!

Walking Water-Sunday Science

We did this simple demonstration to pass the time!

http://www.playbasedlearning.com.au/2011/03/walking-water/