Happy Birthday, Liam

I feel like I should still tag my mom in the pictures I post. How silly.

Karl's mom

People

Gabriel and Karl's mom

Gabe

Liam and Rowan

Again

Dad, Gabe, Caleb, Lucien

Rowan, Patchen, and Madison (and Liam and part of Lucien)

 Super short video

Taryn

Off to Prom

Well, we finally got Tierney and Jake off. Tierney was having serious wardrobe malfunctions. Note to self: don't buy strapless dresses online because they might not fit right! I am not happy! But Tierney doesn't flip out about such details. So she is safety pinned and will just have to be wary of falling out all night:o(.
A good pushup strapless bra might help (with a clear back). We will have to see what we can find before Jake's prom at Catholic. I like the skirt of the dress better in reality, than in the photos.
But, hopefully, they have a good time!

Getting started..

Still starting...

Halfway done

Gabe wanted to help

Photos!

Liam and Patchen

Karl

Madison

Taryn, Tierney, and Gabe

Liam

Easter with Mandy and Blake, and the cousins. Caleb stayed home:o(

Gabe tries out the swing!

Liam digs for worms.

Gaby-baby

Video of Gabe

The note Tierney's drama teacher wrote on the director's chair she gave her.

Tierney has stage-managed her last high school play.

He always blinks those blue eyes!

The Interview..and more

My interview is Wednesday afternoon. I haven't had a real chance to prepare yet! I need to do some correspondence for my mom today. She is scheduled for a court for not completing a class (that she did complete! well, she had to leave a little early because of her health) for her driving accident last year, and she obviously isn't going to make it. I should send something in writing to her phone and cable bill people, too.

I am frustrated about the interview. I had just told Karl, that was it, I was staying home next year, and I seriously meant it-Gabe needs me! and not two days later, I got a call for the interview. I tend to believe in fate, but really, when does one say, forget it, and do what they want.
But it could be an opportunity. And I backed out of an interview at this place last year, so I can't do it again.
It's the part-time job in Everton. It's science, so while I think I have sufficient background knowledge, I still need to do a lot of prep for the interview, and if I get the job, I will have to plan carefully this summer-depending on what curriculum they have available. I imagine science has a lot of prep work.
And part of me misses the small, special ed room, which has the closest feel to a one-room classroom my Little House on the Prairie dreams dream about. Except you can't whack the kids with rulers when they misbehave;o). Instead you apply the rules of behaviorism to find out why and how to help them avoid it. Which is right up my alley, as why is my favorite question when things go wrong, along with, what's the financial impact. But I have money/security issues.

Yawn. Salmon on Flax seed bread for breakfast. On Saturdays, I eat what I want, and yesterday I had a lot of Easter candy (He is risen! Have something unhealthy to celebrate!). So...back to good food. I am cutting way back on the red meat and full-fat dairy. I know I was all about the dairy, and loved that book Nourishing Traditions, but I have recently heard the author uses misleading quotes and many of her references are to own works in unpublished or unrecognized journals. And I find it hard to believe, all the other experts are wrong. The insurance companies want us healthy and cheap, right? Wouldn't they tout the healthiest way? So...back to more veggies and fruits, healthier breads, and smaller fats (and using olive oil instead of butter). Maybe it won't make an impact on cholesterol, maybe it will. I have another test in three months.


Gosh. I am boring today. My concerns about working:
I really want to homeschool! But working now doesn't prevent that.
I am afraid Karl will fall asleep on the couch, and the boys won't get optimal care.
I am afraid it won't be the best financial choice as the big kids are on Medicaid right now, and Caleb needs insurance.

Caleb seems to be doing better. Around the time my mom died (the day before), he called me and told me his depression was much worse, and he was thinking of doing something to himself I would rather not discuss. So, I took him to the ER, and we checked him into Cox North. I simply could not stay home and watch him at that point. He did well, there, but was still sort of blah....Last month, I took him to a doctor who specializes in adolescent psychiatry (he is still seeing a counselor-though he has cut back to once a month), and the current medicine seems to be helping, although it makes him a little nauseated. But Caleb hasn't felt well since about second grade, so I don't worry too much about that. His dad has been diagnosed as bipolar (why have both my husbands been bipolar-what does that mean about me?!), the psychiatrist said it thought Caleb's depression was due to brain chemistry/genetics and not environment-although he does create an impoverished environment for himself, though he could get that from me! LOL, but still the mom guilt is strong. I wish I could make him happier. I wish I could make him taller (he seems to worry about that at 5'7"). I wish I could help him fit in. But we are doing what we can. He is a smart, funny kid, with a lot to offer the world. I hope he finds a job soon, like he wants. I think it will help him to get out and meet more people.

Anyway. So that's that.

Yesterday we gave away both baby swings and the changing table my mom bought, which had become a place to set clothes baskets. I feel guilty about giving the changing table away-all my mom's excitement over buying baby things, why did I always try and temper that?, and now it is gone. But...holding on to things won't make the past any more real, I suppose. And Tierney said a very pregnant and thankful woman picked them up from the side of the road, so that's good.

Have a good one!

Food

The last time my weight was decent, meaning I was not in the overweight category-I think my bmi was hovering around 25, I managed food well. It was 2003, the summer before I started in on the horror of studying physics, which was just too much for my brain to handle (especially as a single mom-so glad to have that excuse;o)).
The kids spent a good long time at their dad's that summer, and it made it easy to eat well.

Breakfast was typically a mango-I used to love a good mango for breakfast in summer, now I think, how could that sustain me all day? During the regular school year, I would have a slimfast bar, and that worked well, too. I would have as many cups of coffee as I needed. For lunch it was either lean cuisine with salad and hot sauce or fresh salmon with salad. Dinner was a regular dinner, without seconds. Blueberries and apples and oranges for snacks. I am sure there was chocolate somewhere in there.

Somehow, though, I got in the habit of eating whenever the mood struck me. I started moving less and less. I got depressed studying physics and started drowning my sorrows in...whatever. Eating does pick me up. I remember when I had a stressful day at PH, I would come home and grab leftovers and just eat. And it was comforting.



I don't know what my point is here. I was just thinking about it.