I was saving those words for something really meaningful, however, I just can't resist using them today. Karl just pulled out of the driveway with all three boys. I have several hours in which to work on the house. My number one goal: Get all laundry washed. If I were an overachiever I'd say folded and put away, but let's be realistic. Number two goal is to shampoo the library and dining room carpet. The library is so wrong without the sofa. It is worn and needed to be relegated to the messier family-friendly family room, but this settee isn't working for me. It is small and on a whim I bought emerald green. While lovely, it is just sucks the light out of the room. I need to get a throw, I guess. And the room is off balance and weird. I took my rocker down to the family room last time we had a fire, and I think I will leave it there. So this room is empty.
If I had a daycare I have it all planned out. A pack n play (something light-beigey greyish( in each corner. Lots of faux sheepskin rugs (because Alec is slightly allergic to real lambskin. Low light shelves with baskets filled with wooden and woolen and nature-provided toys. A swing or two for difficult days. A small fence separating walkers from nonwalkers. Ideally, the dining room would be the toddler play area, but I don't think I can convince Karl to let me put the table in the kitchen. Baskets of chunky books and beautiful watercolor posters. Nothing garish or overly primary. Rainbow silks hanging from the ceiling. Use the dresser in here for extra toys/diapers/and put a changing pad on top. A small wooden table and chairs. A rocker or two.
Eh, we'll see.
Ideally I will get some painting in, but I am not feeling the stores today, so maybe I will stay home. I really need to do something with the powder room (such a stupid name) by the family room. A new toilet seat, a good scrubbing. Fresh hand towels. A new paint color, a new table or shelf with some pretties.
But for now, I am exactly where I need to be. Alone. In a quiet house (maybe not my mountaintop cabin, but enough), writing the words that are flowing through me.
Tierney and I are slowly working towards our online business. It is hard, all we are trying to learn. And we are trying to keep costs low.
I have another idea, but that idea requires me flat out making decisions, sticking with them, seeing the positive in them, so that I can be more of an authority on---life and decision-making. That requires a lot from me. Because I do flip-flop. I want to do it all, I guess. I want security with freedom, and that is rare. I want money in my pocket with working less. This change has to be a decision I make and see through and I know that. And it scares me, so I stir it, taste it, and move it back to the back burner to simmer awhile longer. I am sure there is a certain decisive personality out there who hates me. I'm okay with that. Sort of. Really, why can't you all just see the rainbow in my heart and love me already? I like swimming in the feelings and thoughts. Even if I never do anything about it. I think that bothers a lot of people. But it make me feel alive.
Now, the dryer has stopped. The work must begin!
If I had a daycare I have it all planned out. A pack n play (something light-beigey greyish( in each corner. Lots of faux sheepskin rugs (because Alec is slightly allergic to real lambskin. Low light shelves with baskets filled with wooden and woolen and nature-provided toys. A swing or two for difficult days. A small fence separating walkers from nonwalkers. Ideally, the dining room would be the toddler play area, but I don't think I can convince Karl to let me put the table in the kitchen. Baskets of chunky books and beautiful watercolor posters. Nothing garish or overly primary. Rainbow silks hanging from the ceiling. Use the dresser in here for extra toys/diapers/and put a changing pad on top. A small wooden table and chairs. A rocker or two.
Eh, we'll see.
Ideally I will get some painting in, but I am not feeling the stores today, so maybe I will stay home. I really need to do something with the powder room (such a stupid name) by the family room. A new toilet seat, a good scrubbing. Fresh hand towels. A new paint color, a new table or shelf with some pretties.
But for now, I am exactly where I need to be. Alone. In a quiet house (maybe not my mountaintop cabin, but enough), writing the words that are flowing through me.
Tierney and I are slowly working towards our online business. It is hard, all we are trying to learn. And we are trying to keep costs low.
I have another idea, but that idea requires me flat out making decisions, sticking with them, seeing the positive in them, so that I can be more of an authority on---life and decision-making. That requires a lot from me. Because I do flip-flop. I want to do it all, I guess. I want security with freedom, and that is rare. I want money in my pocket with working less. This change has to be a decision I make and see through and I know that. And it scares me, so I stir it, taste it, and move it back to the back burner to simmer awhile longer. I am sure there is a certain decisive personality out there who hates me. I'm okay with that. Sort of. Really, why can't you all just see the rainbow in my heart and love me already? I like swimming in the feelings and thoughts. Even if I never do anything about it. I think that bothers a lot of people. But it make me feel alive.
Now, the dryer has stopped. The work must begin!
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